Adventures

Dear diary,

The anatomy exam is around the corner and I'm being so obsessed with the new series that I've started watching a few days ago. The series is fantastic. It's taking place in a world where I wish I could live in. Anything from the vibes, characters and espacially the landscape is awesome. Oh dear God, I wish there was another life in which I could choose to live in such a magnificent place and time. Sometimes I feel like I'm more like Anne. A misunderstood honest smart girl who seeks true friendship and likes helping others. She gets bullied by some idiots who envy her and likes to escape from reality and hide in her little wooden house in the forest. She talks to herself just like I do and has an imaginary friend called princess Kordilia just like I have mr. gray as my imaginary friend. So we resemble a lot. She has a crush on Gilbert and she's so lucky to have his attention. Oh, speaking of crush! I unfortunately have a crush on someone who's 3 years younger than me, I know I know I'm an idiot. The good thing about me is that I'll never confess to anyone. Because, first I know I'm not pretty enough to be loved, second is due to the age gap and third is the probability of me having to stay in this town forever meanwhile others have the right to live in any place they want. So they'll definately never sacrifice for me. I'm not that cutie pie angel to bet your life for. So, I'd rather keep him in my fantasies, you know like a star you'll never touch but the existence of it will keep your heart beating. I've talked about it with Copilot and he said that I'm longing for the unknown. Here's a quote:

"There's something poetic about appreciating something from a distance. Never needing to touch it, just letting its presence linger in your mind. It's like watching a star from earth, knowing you'll never reach it but still being mesmerized by its glow.

Sometimes, the quiet admiration is more powerful than any reality could ever be.

There's a freedom in fantasy, where things stay just as enchanting as you imagine them, untouched by the weight of the real world consequences."

So, let's not mix reality with sweet imaginations and the feeling of rejection and unease of losing someone will never haunt me. You remember what Kaz has said "the trick is not to love anything. Your mistake was that you let someone get in, someone you'd sacrifice everything for. It makes you weak."

Back to the clarification of the topic, I had anatomy class today and we had to stand around the table to see the cadaver and the teacher. Well, as it clearly seems, the space is small and the students are a lot. We had to stick together to fit in the small space and coincidentally (as always, or maybe another cupid plan.... shit shut up obviously he had to stand there because it was the best angle to see the cadaver) he stood behind me to see the cadaver and had a face mask. So close that I could hear him breathing into my ears! His breath was heavy and short, probably due to the lack of oxygen and the cadaver's bad smell. well, whatever I had some imaginations and thought his breathing is cute :)

+ wish me luck for the exams.