Adventures

Dear Grey, Ive learned this new word today. It means someone who only works and obeys for money. Nothing but money, even that person would go in the middle of the hell for money. I have learned this word after I've finished Six of crows. the story was a chef's kiss adventure. I admit that it took me months to reach to the page 270 but after that I couldn't stop reading, in fact it was holding me tight in my chair and my hands clenging to the book cover ready to know what happened to kaz, nina, jesper... The book is full of unexpected plots, like kaz suddenly deciding to shake pekka rollin's hands. I was like whaaaat?! boy how many time do you get bitten by the same dog?! thing is I spend the recent days finishing off six of crows like a high speed train. I even read the last pages of the book which were the writer's acknowledgments. I don't regret, I did enjoy the time... If only I COULD live in these fantasies.

New nightmare:

This is a very new and nightmarish thing which is shaping my plans, hopes and character. I'm becoming a ruthless, hopless little wretch with a heart full of hatred. I signed a contract that is 10 years of slavery in a remote place. why? money? dreamy life? dream job? sorry little bird, it could look like your dream job but dream life? no, living in a remote place far from the things you've grown to get used to is not what you wished for. you often wish you never belonged here 'cause you actually don't belong to this world and its traits let alone living in a remote area. oh come off it, can you imagine that? Today, I asked myself if I had any dreams then I said with certainity that yeah but my dreams don't fit this world, you know like... I mean they're impossible to happen in this world. I mean how many people really get to live their dreams here?! certainly no one.

About that nightmare, yeah I felt like I'm in sort of a remote old place with absolute no technology. It looked like a garden and everywhere were surrounded by sun light, I couldn't feel the heat while asleep but it must be hot. I saw people with old traditional clothes staring at me. I don't know where I was or what I was doing but I knew it, I knew I'm serving my time and I hated it. I WAS DESPERATE TO RUN AWAY, to LEAVE, to run away. For the first time in my life I TRUELY regret signing that agreement to work whereever they want me to.

Do you remember that nightmare about the old haunted huse with lots of rooms? well, I miss it now at least I was sure I didn't have to live it in reality! IT WAS JUST A DREAM NOT A REALITY YET TO HAPPEN.

Now, I think I have dream that could be fullfilled in this world. I wish to die before this unevitable nightmare happens.