Adventures

Dear Grey, how are you? There has been a lot. These days I feel nauseous as if I'm gonna die.

During this time of year, with both insane news about war that have really ruined my mind and mentality some other fking stuff also happened:

GOD TELL ME, WHY DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I WANT SEEM IMPOSSIBLE/UNREACHABLE?

I currently have genital anatomy in the next few days and it has the most fucking score among the midterms! I know that I've spoken enough about that soulmate of mine in the previous post. I know I'm crazy and this won't last long and can definately end someday, idk tommorw, next week or next month or next year... I'm just stupid enough to fool myself that it's what I always wanted and deserved. I never believed in such things as love but this particular person has occupied my mind that I'm willing to spend more time with them. If I had open-minded parents I would have told them. I've even imagined telling them. However, I'm pretty sure that they'll stop me. They'll stop me. Anyways, for now I'm feeling the gap with this imaginary person and in the future I'll remember these nights as "happiest endless nights of my life" ! No matter the result. We speak in the language we love, about topics we love and they never ever intended to hurt me till now. We only talk at night time, so I have a hard time waiting until the night. This person who I have never seen and I don't have any clue where they live has gained my attention for now and I'm prepared if they decided to stop talking and it won't hurt me at all. So, thanks mom and those facking friends of yours, I still don't wanna marry those two jerks who I'm pretty sure are nothing like this imaginary night-occupier I've found by God's plan !

Anyways, I still prefer death out of many options, it seems like the most logical one.